7. Sunder
Having abs is not a personality.
Credit: Kitfox Games
This guy is the worst. Polyamory is only polyamory if everyone knows about it ; otherwise it ‘s merely cheat. Yes, I was besides seeing other swords, but at the same time I did n’t measuredly hide it and lie about it. When Sunder was caught, he was primarily good deplorable I found out. sunder is a close, emotionally unavailable fuckboi who intelligibly only wanted me for my torso. The dandy has absolutely nothing going for him aside from being physically fit — he is n’t even good at his job, which is n’t the scar of a dependable ( or bad ) person, but it would at least be something. He ‘s a pile of folderol that you keep digging into thinking you ‘ll unearth some secret treasure, only to find that the deeper layers are just even more methamphetamine. 0/10, dump him .
6. Sawyer
Congratulations, you’ve just adopted a child.
Credit: Kitfox Games
Do n’t get me wrong, Sawyer is a dainty enough person and seems to mean well. But for the purposes of woo ? No. decidedly not. They ‘re a break college student who uses you to cheat on exams and ca n’t even figure out how to boil an egg. Nothing about that is appealing. Like ticket, I know that everyone has gaps in their education somewhere. But if you lack the inaugural to google, the awareness to know that you did not fabricate cook, and the common smell to refrain from spiking person ‘s food with cough syrup, then I ‘m deplorable, but we ca n’t hang. Sawyer is a walk calamity and not in a cunning direction — not at all a partner you could rely on. They ‘re basically a child. I do not want to date a child .
5. Rowan
I cannot live in Rowan’s parallel reality.
Credit: Kitfox Games
Rowan and I do n’t have many intersect interests, which makes a romanticism a piece more unmanageable. For case, while I am terminally on-line, Rowan has all the technical school grok of a 87-year-old retiree whose greatest passion is antiquing. They besides refer to their call as a “ black prism, ” which is irritatingly ostentatious adequate to offset any good will they garnered by not being straight-up garbage. This recluse mystic lives life according to their own rhythm, which is average adequate, but it does make it unmanageable to vibe with them. Spending time with Rowan feels confusing and off-putting, like neither of you are always actually connecting or sympathy each other. They ‘re living in a completely different global, while I want my spouse here with me .
4. Pocket
It’s a cat.
Credit: Kitfox Games
It ‘s difficult to rate Pocket against Boyfriend Dungeon ‘s other weapons, because he is a cat-o’-nine-tails and thus can not be measured by distinctive kinship evaluation metrics. As a companion, Pocket is serviceable. He is n’t an excessively affectionate feline, shunning attempts to pet him until he gets to know you better. But he does have a natural advantage in that he is a warmly, soft fluffball by design. pocket is n’t the most sparkle colloquial partner. It often feels like you ‘re left to guess what he wants from you, even though his confronting level of cognitive awareness skirts the region of the eldritch valley. This guy provides all the pressure of a social interaction with a fraction of the reward, which is n’t a great tradeoff. It ‘s courteous having Pocket around, but he ca n’t actually compare to a human .
3. Valeria
Fun and exciting, but probably not a long-term relationship.
Credit: Kitfox Games
Valeria is an adventure in homo ( and dagger ) form. A rebellious artist, she ‘s the cool girl at school who everyone wants to hang out with on weekends. not the democratic one who has Homecoming Queen in the bag, or the delinquent who skips class and smokes behind the toilet blockage. Valeria is the confident, magnetic one who respects people over nonsense rules, and always makes whoever she ‘s talking to feel like they ‘re just vitamin a matter to as her. The main trouble is that it ‘s hard to tell if you ‘re actually especial to Valeria. Though a love affair with her is appealing, you ‘d be constantly anxious you are n’t enough to keep her concern, particularly once the initial excitation dies down. Valeria feels like she does n’t want to be tied down by anything, and is after more out of life than any one person could satisfy. Again, polyamory is a thing, but in this event it feels like you might fair be a side fictional character among the rotating vomit of Valeria ‘s dazzle life .
2. Seven
Not as much of a jerk as he could have been.
Credit: Kitfox Games
If I were writing this rate at the begin of Boyfriend Dungeon, Seven would land somewhere near the bottomland. But Verona Beach ‘s nonmigratory K-pop leading grew on me so much that if the upward swerve in affection continued at the like trajectory, he could finally take first gear place. When I first met Seven he was indeed disinterested, disdainful, and arrogant that I wondered why he tied bothered to text me. I ‘m not interested in chasing after person who is n’t into me, indeed our dates felt like a barren of both our time. But as he gradually opened up it became clear that there ‘s a sweet, shy, down-to-earth person hiding beneath his low, cynicism, and electronegativity. I was helplessly charmed by Seven ‘s doubtful, childlike rejoice at the chemise bear and cupcake I made him, american samoa well as his adoring nostalgia for his dim-witted childhood memories. And do n’t even get me started on the skin apples. Seven credibly should n’t be dating precisely so far — he ‘d benefit more from a few solid friends to start. But I can see that as his mental health keeps improving, and he grows happier within himself, he ‘ll finally become a great boyfriend. He ‘s in a bad place correct now, but that bad place is n’t who he is .
1. Isaac
The true ending.
Credit: Kitfox Games
I did n’t think I ‘d like Isaac when first gear I saw his official profile. person who most enjoys haute cuisine, doctrine, and meditation seemed excessively priggish and put together — not a date you could relax and plowshare pizza with while binge-watching MasterChef Australia.
however Isaac surprised me with his cool so far playful attitude, and completely won me over with his avid use of the party popper emoji. not only did his eager adoption of my suggest emoji show obvious consideration for my impression, it besides demonstrated a more casual, playfulness side of him, ampere well as an about innocent enthusiasm to learn and try newly things. We could decidedly plowshare a pizza. Isaac is mature, hardworking, and emotionally available, plus he respects his parents and cares about his community. As though that were n’t adequate, he besides owns a penthouse and will cook you eggs in the good morning, because he actually knows how to do that. Frankly, if you do n’t date him then you credibly just are n’t ready for a real number commitment. One party popper from Isaac is worth a thousand hearts from anyone else. Boyfriend Dungeon is out now on Xbox One, Xbox Series X/S, Nintendo Switch, and personal computer .
